At the going down of the sun and in the morning, We will remember them.

My Remembrance Sunday

It was a bright and crisp sunny morning as I walked into town today. Mothers, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters, strangers and friends alike. All stood side by side in front and surrounding the cenotaph as I arrived. The service had already started but I mingled and found a spot amongst the crowd. On days like this I am always in a somewhat sombre mood. 

The service continued, I even prayed aloud. 2 minutes silence to remember the fallen, remember the brave. To remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that me and you can continue to live and can speak our views with freedom. The Last Post sounds and a tear rolls down my cheek as I think of strangers fighting on the battlefronts of both World War One and Two, then in all the conflicts since. Of my friends who have served but are no longer here I feel especially sad for them. The national anthem starts and I feel proud to have served my country, I look around & see current members of our armed services and feel immense pride in them. 

I feel that often we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. So I hang around after the service to place a cross on the cenotaph as my own personal act of remembrance to the fallen.Today is not about if you think a war is just, or if the government is corrupt. It is about remembering those who died for our freedom so that we may express those types of opinion. 

"At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them" 

Remembrance Day- Everlasting....

So I have just finished a bit of a hectic day at work, the store wasn't too busy but I seemed quite busy myself. Throughout today I have been thinking about what I could write for day 9 of the National Blogging Month challenge. Yesterday I managed to write a poem and today, well today I have been quite frankly stuck for ideas. Well until about 5 minutes ago so I thought I better write something now before my sudden burst of motivation goes. It sort of carries on from the theme of poetry I started yesterday and as it is Remembrance Sunday tomorrow it is kind of topical. A little background the poem is called Everlasting by Cindy Zhao who was amazingly only 14 when she wrote this and it won the Royal British Legion's War

Poetry Competition. I think you will agree how the style is simple yet effective and just sort of dances along. 

Everlasting...

His Version

The long, dark sky looms up ahead

As 2000 soldiers are not properly fed.

We fight and we hurt, to save others lives

But we go down like a bullet, there’s evil in knives

Blood pours out quickly across the sand

There’s nobody there to give a helping hand

We moan through the pain and we cry and we cry

And we say our prayers until we die

Trumpets ring true when the leaders arrive

We all stand up straight, we need to survive

My men surround me, all full of hope

But thinking back now, how would we have coped?

We hear news of survivors in our troupe

But it’s just a rumour going round a loop

We dress in black and mourn for the best

Even though it’s the one we all detest

Flashbacks appear when Christmas comes

And everyone is huddled together, we weigh tonnes

Tears drip down men’s cheeks, we weren’t born to cry

But sometimes it just ends up falling out of my eye

We say bye to loved ones as our happiness fades

We realise it was just a charade

And off once again to fight for rights

To fight for life in the starry nights.

Her Version

Huddled by myself, besides the warm fire

Makes my aching heart fill with desire

To see the man I truly love

As sweet as summer, as pure as a dove

His pictures sit on windowsills

Grinning, Laughing, giving me chills

As I can’t bear to think anymore

For he may be lost in the dreadful war

My heart doesn’t stop pounding, never skips a beat

I look out of the window, the bluebirds tweet

They sing their song, so happy inside

But I feel okay, I’m full of pride

Watching the TV screen with wide, open eyes

To see what’s really beyond the bright blue sky

As my best friend fights to save people’s lives

I just hope that he survives

A tear drips slowly from my eye

If he doesn’t come back I’m going to die

A newsflash breaks across the screen

It’s making a huge scene

The reporter says the war has ended

I scream and shout, it is intended

My wish, my dream, my hopes have come true

And someday they will for you…

My Version

She was waiting anxiously for him to arrive

But unfortunately he didn’t survive

The world had ended, their lives apart

But their souls forever connected, joined with their heart.

When I first heard this poem it was recited on Remembrance in Sheffield a few years ago, I haven't really read the poem that much since my second year when I used it for part of an Emotional Intelligence module. I was in a very sad and sombre state when I first heard this poem. Remembering people who have made the ultimate sacrifice for their country is one thing but when you are there and it is the faces of some of your friends, their laugh, their voice, their smell that is the worst feeling in the world. It is sadness, guilt, despair all mixed in together. As I heard this poem I could really relate to the man in it, I was taken into the poem and that man was me. Although a feeling of depressiveness often occurs when I read this, the poem also gives me a sense of pride, of joy, of hope that there is something better out there. 

        

What if money were no object?

Today I watched this video after a friend shared it on twitter.

A little background info: Alan Watts is a British-born American philosopher best known for bringing Eastern wisdom into the Western world. 

Obviously, as you can see I was inspired to write this blog after watching this video. It also sort of ties in with my previous blog (What shall I do now?) The concept of money not being an issue in life is certainly a strange one to most people. For me, money has always been an issue. I come from a very working class background where money was always short in my house, but we got by on the little money we did have. I got a paper round when I was 13 and suppose I have been in some sort of work ever since. That would make 13 years work experience, wow I feel old! Anyway at school I did well and was offered a place to study A levels at my sixth form but there was just one problem, money...

 I didn't go to sixth form but instead joined the army which I had always been fascinated with and if I'm honest seemed like a much more exciting option than doing my A levels anyway. I was earning more money than I have ever seen in my life and training to be a soldier all at 16!. I talk more about this in another blog (War, What is It good for? ). For me at that point in my life I suppose money wasn't much of an issue. All my accommodation expenses etc came out my wage before I even noticed them, I'd bought a car out right and could easily afford the things I wanted to buy. In terms of other jobs the army wage is quite modest but I was doing something I wanted to do without thinking about the money.    

Since then I have had jobs I have enjoyed, but It has always been about the money and doing the job as a means to survive and get by. That is part of the reason I eventually came to university and got a degree. But now I seem to have come full circle and find myself asking what would I do if money were no object? Well, I was speaking to a friend last night and we were discussing my future career and she assures me I will be running B&Q one day and I love it more than I want to admit. It is true, I do have huge passion for the company I work for and some great ideas on what it should do to grow in an international marketplace, the only problem is I work in my local store not in head office. Kevin, I know you are only just settling in to your new role as CEO but if by some miracle you are reading this please sort me out a transfer onto your new team.  

So for me I suppose the answer to the question is I want to be in a position where I can use my degree and experience to its full potential while helping others. I have a degree in International Business with Philosophy and 13 years work experience in a variety of industries (including my local paper shop!). If anyone reading this knows of any jobs where I could use that potential, then let me know. 

Oh yeh, it must pay good money of course :P ...       

 

War, What is it good for?

As I sit here in Preston on a grey cloudy afternoon trying to focus on my dissertation my thoughts are 3000 miles away in the hot desert of Iraq. 10 years ago to the day since the country was invaded to fight a "war on terror”. 10 Years ago I was 15, still at school playing a silly amount of sports to keep me busy and doing well at school. By this point I had already decided that the army was going to be my future. Getting paid to play soldiers is good right?

I was bright enough to go to sixth form, my mentor and head of sixth form offered me the place there regardless of my upcoming GCSE results several times. I turned down the offer, I wanted to get away, carry on playing sport, have a good job and get paid for it. If any of you have ever been to Burnley, you might understand.

I had been 16 barely 3 months and I was walking through the gates of AFC Harrogate. 10 months I was there and to say I grew up in that time is more than an understatement. People say that coming to University is the transition from childhood to adulthood, a stint at AFC Harrogate will do that to anybody. My father died recently but the proudest day of my life thus far was seeing tears in his eyes as I marched passed him on finishing my training there. The memory is so vivid still and that was 9 years ago.  

Fast forward a few years, I am now 19 in a hot foreign land doing all the things we practised a million times in training. It might have been 35 degrees outside, but trust me that is better than -10 in the Brecon Beacons and snow. Compared to training these conditions were luxury, but the threat was very real. It wasn’t just a game anymore; people’s lives were at stake. To liberate a nation from an evil dictatorship who posed a serious threat to the world. Forget about the politics I was there to do a job and when it comes right down to very basic survival instincts what would you do? As it happens I did really believe I was fighting the good fight for a just cause.  While I was there, many things happened and sometimes the days felt like weeks and weeks felt like months. Every other day or so there would be a fire fight. I was only involved in one serious one and I know I was lucky that day. Some people were not so fortunate during my time there.

In the last year two of my closest friends have died whilst serving on operations. Both fighting the “War on terror” and both believing what they were doing was just and right. Every time I hear that a British serviceman has died I feel like a part of me has also died but for it to be somebody particularly close to me hurts beyond compare. One leaves behind a fiancée who is at a loss with the world and her career now and grieving in another continent as far away from this world as possible. She called me a hero and compared me to her dead boyfriend and one of my best friends. I was so overwhelmed with emotion, I felt guilty at first and then immense pride. I don’t take compliments very well, I went to London in February and a stranger said a similar thing to me. It makes me very humble that people can hold me in that esteem. People like my friends are the real heroes though; they died fighting for a righteous cause that they believed in. Me, a hero? Pftt I am nothing but a mere man.     

I left the Army just before I was 21 after 4 and a half years, I didn’t want to leave but was medically forced to leave. Some people say that you can never let go of the army no matter how long you have been away. But it is the army that never lets go of you, it is always a part of your heart and your soul. Maybe I was the lucky one, I got away.