Hangover - conversation with myself...

I awake with that dreaded headache again. Oh no, it is the hangover reminding me of all my poor life choices last night. Why did you drink so much? Because it was cheap of course, but why did you do shots and drink jager bombs as well. I don't know leave me alone. Well guess what Stewart, you have got to go to work today and deal with yourself. But can I not just lie here and wallow in my self pity all day eating crap food and watching funny clips of cats on youtube? No, no you most certainly can not. Well maybe for a little while but only because you start at 12 today. Oh thats good, I will feel better by then. Yes of  course you will, just drink that pepsi on the side from last night. Oh wait it tastes of wine, eh that is not right! I wasn't drinking wine last night, was I? No I don't think you were, but now you are going to have to get your sorry arse out of bed and brush your teeth before you are sick. But I don't want to get up. Tough if you don't I'll make you sick all over these nice clean bedsheets. Ok, ok I'll go to the bathroom. Right, shower now because you need to freshen up. Oh shit, you didn't wash the work trousers that fit you properly so now you are going to have to wear them really tight ones just for being such a shit bag with your personal admin. Oh Stewart, wasn't there something you were meant to do this morning before work. Oh no, brain why didn't you remember that sooner I really hate you at times. Well that is your own fault for slowly killing little bits of me with alcohol. Ok, well I promise I won't drink as much next time as long as you remember more important things rather than that stupid song that is stuck in my head. Stewart, why are you not dressed yet? Look at the time, you can't wallow today so get up and stop watching them stupid videos. Ok, ok I am going but I need to eat. There is a butty van at work don't worry. But I wanna be healthy today. Pfft, who are you trying to kid. Ok, I get it, I am a fat slob. Well yes you are now get to work!!.

Last night

I awake again with a banging headache and feeling sick,

 Oh why oh why did I down that glass of wine?

And did we really both walk in at the same time? 

Drink after drink there is no slowing down,

Soon my head will be spinning around and around. 

Where did that pretty girl go? 

Who cares she had a boyfriend anyway,

Either that or thought I was gay, 

What is that? Vodka you say, 

Just send one my way.

Oh no, now I am on social media, 

I think I am starting a debate,

Oh, but wait..

It is more of a drunken attack, 

Sober me will pay for that. 

Oh I love this song, lets dance! 

Another pint, oh and a vodka to,

Hold that thought, I just might spew,

Sit back down and look around,

No money in my pocket, not even a pound. 

Cash point first, takeaway second, 

I guess now its time to go home,

But I don't wander the streets alone, 

We get a taxi instead,

and then finally I'm back in my bed.